Who Wants to be a Leader?

I guess everyone wants to be a leader, right? Great.

There are things to consider here o! ok answer these. As a leader:

How human is anyone allowed to be?

How matured am I expected to get, regarding the issues of life?

Gosh, growing up is such a task, it is huge responsibility. At work, at home, in church, with friends and the list is endless.

Is this not what drives people to do drugs?

Am I close to doing drugs?

Why does life have to be such a ‘Big Brother’; always on your case pressurizing you into a certain form of behavior all in the name of Leadership.

At work, you are expected to be civil, more so as a senior person, you can’t just lash out you disgust of some things people do. It is even worse when you have several parties you are trying to manage, your boss, your colleague, other stake holders. Personally, it sucks. Mine is the most complicated career relationship/life I have seen in my life. Your boss is the CEO, yet the CEO still has a boss, so technically CEO is not really CEO but you report to him and he does your appraisal. What exactly is happening here?

At home, I am mummy, and wife and friend and all that. Isn’t life complicated enough already? Everyone should hurry up and grow up o! so that we can all be leaders abeg.

How exactly do the Governors and Presidents do it? not that they have done it well sha but they must be doing something somehow since they have not gone 'gaga' all these years

My take on it all; Leadership is such a HUGE TASK! and I am supposed to be excellent at it.

I need the help of God.

I am Hungry, Please Re-brand me

I am Nigeria. I have millions of acres of arable land and billions of cubic litres of water, but I cannot feed myself. So I spend $1 billion to import rice and another $2 billion to import milk. I produce rice, but don't eat it. I have 60 million cattle but no milk. I am hungry, please re-brand me.

I drive the latest cars in the world but have no roads. I lose family and friends everyday on roads for which funds have been looted. I lose my young, my old, and my most brainy and productive people to the potholes, craters and crevasses they travel on everyday. I am in permanent mourning, please re-brand me.

My school has no teacher and my classroom has no roof. I take lecture notes through the window and live with 15 others in a single room. All my professors have gone abroad, and the rest are awaiting visas. I am a university graduate, but I am illiterate.. I want a future, please re-brand me.

Malaria, typhoid and many other preventable diseases send me to hospitals which have no doctors, no medicines and no power. So my wife gives birth with candle light and surgery is performed by quacks. All the nurses have gone abroad and the rest are waiting to go also. I have the highest maternal and infant mortality rates in the world and future generations are dying before me. I am hopeless, hapless and helpless, please re-brand me.

I wanted change so I stood all day long to cast my vote. But even before I could vote, the results had been announced. When I dared to speak out, silence was enthroned by bullets. My rulers are my oppressors, and my policemen are my terrors. I am ruled by men in mufti, but I am not a
democracy. I have no verve, no vote, no voice, please re-brand me.

I have 50 million youths with no jobs, no present and no future. So my sons in the North have become street urchins and his brothers in the South have become militants. My nephews die of thirst in the Sahara and his cousins drown in the waters of the Mediterranean.. My daughters walk the streets of Lagos, Abuja and Port Harcourt, while her sisters parade the streets of Rome and Amsterdam. I am inconsolable, please re-brand me.

My people cannot sleep at night and cannot relax by day. They cannot use ATM machines, nor use cheques. My children sleep through staccato of AK 47s see through the mist of tear gas. The leaders have looted everything on the ground and below. They walk the land with haughty strides and fly the skies with private jets. They have stolen the future of generations yet unborn and have money they cannot spend in several lifetimes, but their brothers die of hunger. I want justice, please re-brand me.

I can produce anything, but import everything. So my toothpick is made in China; my toothpaste is made in South Africa; my salt is made in Ghana; my butter is made in Ireland; my milk is made in Holland; my shoe is made in Italy; my vegetable oil is made in Malaysia; my biscuit is
made in Indonesia; my chocolate is made in Turkey and my table water made in France. My taste is far-flung and foreign, please re-brand me.

My people are cancerous from the greed of their friends who bleach palm oil with chemicals; my children died because they drank 'My Pikin' with NAFDAC numbers; my poor die because kerosene explodes in their faces; my land is dead because all the trees have been cut down; flood kills my people yearly because the drainages are clogged; my fishes are dead because the oil companies dump waste in my rivers; my communities are vanishing into the huge yawns of gully erosion, and nothing is being done. My livelihood is in jeopardy, and I am in the uttermost depths of despondence, please re-brand me.

I have genuine leather but choose to eat it. So I spend a billion dollars to import fake leather. I have four refineries, but prefer to import fuel, so I waste more billions to import petrol. I have no security in my country, but would rather send troops to keep the peace in another man's land.

I have 160 dams, but can not get water to drink, so I buy 'pure' water that roils my innards. I have a million children waiting to enter universities, but my ivory dungeons can only take a tenth. I have no power, but choose to flare gas, so my people have learnt to see in the dark and stare at the glare of naked flares. I have no direction, please re-brand me.

My people pray to God every morning and every night, but commit every crime known to man because re-branded identities will never alter the tunes of inbred rhythms. Just as the drums of heritage heralds the frenzied jingles, remember - the Nigerian soul can only be Nigerian -
fighting free from the cold embrace of a government that has no spring, no sense, no shame. So we watch the possessed, frenzied dance, drenched in silent tears as freedom is locked up in democracy's empty cellars. I need guidance, please re-brand me.

But then, why can I not simply be me, without being re-branded? Or does my complexion cloud the color of my character? Does my location limit the lengths my liberty? Does the spirit of my conviction shackle my soul? Does my mien maim the mine of my mind? And is this life worth
re-branding? I am not yet born, please re-brand me.

Courtesy: Salisu Suleiman

I Have Lived & Learned…

When I was much younger, I had this table top daily inspirational quotes that documents what different people across different works of life, learned during their lives, given to me by my eldest sister (we call her big mummy). It was titled ‘I have lived and learned…’ This little booklet had so much impact on me (thinking about it, maybe it was the person that gave it to me) that the phrase; 'I have lived and learned' as a phrase is not scarce in my vocabulary.


Just today, (about 19 years later) I said it again and I’m thinking…I should create this series on my blog about it. It’s going to be my monthly, and I choose third Tuesdays to update…why Tuesday? Maybe because I like working late on Tuesdays (story for another day). Any ho…, I start today (Thursday) which I hope will be the only exception;


Lived & Learned Series…

1. I have lived and learned that nothing is as bad as it first appears – Nothing:
When it first happens, it may feel like the whole world is going to crash on you, or the big popular question, “Why me?”. Truth is, a couple of days later; it still feels bad, but not as bad. And somewhere down the line, we ease into the new situation. Some people however, DIE with that first most terrible feeling. Not necessarily physical death, but they congeal at that point and just refuse the force of ‘nature’ to ease the pain like it would normally.

2. I have live and learned that true joy and happiness last longer when shared: Life is more fun when your relationships are intact. A lot of people claim they can do without a ‘certain’ person. Maybe true, but if you check real deep within you, you are more fulfilled when the relationship is restored and cloudy airs are cleared, especially relationships between siblings, parents and children, husband and wife, colleagues at work and need I say MAN – WOMAN!!!

3. I have lived and learned that life is made up of seasons: Trick is to anticipate (at best) or recognize (in the least) which season you are in and make quick adaptations or adjustments. Only the person that can adapt will survive o, not just the paranoid as the popular saying goes. This is true in every area of life, marriage, friendships, transactions/business, career, sports you name it. I realize I cant continue to insist that this is my way and that’s it. No, I must be willing to accommodate others to the best of my capability at every point in time. Adaptation buys peace of mind!!!

4. I have lived and learned to choose my battles: (I have to do a part 2 of this particular lesson, why? Ability to make a good choice is an art!!!). Ok so I must not have my way at all times. But when I have to, then believe me I have to, if not, hey, we will tear shirts o!!! Really, the point is some issues are best left unpursued because you will need the energy, inner strength and weaponry for some other more critical issues.

There you go, please feel free to share your life lessons.

Just Another Bad Habit

This is BAD! Very BAD!! It takes me a year or so to come up with something to write. It shows how poor I am at relationships…Self evaluation…*Pshew*

Actually, I think if I was a love affair, I’ll be a …

One night stand…olodo!

Anyhow, another bad habit pushed me here today, and I decided I will do better for myself, do something different, update my blog.

So the bad habit is that I have been reading these fantastic blogs for years now and never leave a comment. I just enjoy their companies, laugh at their jokes and hurt at their behalf when things aren’t so good. But never leave a word for them, again, a sign of my poor relationship skills.

I have spent quite a bit of time by myself this year, probably more than I have ever done in my entire life. This half year alone, I’ve spent time all by myself in Ghana, Kenya, India, Kaduna and Cross River (yet I am supposed to be a married woman with kids) and here I am thinking, I might as well just put it all together, confess openly on my blog, about the blogs have been keeping me company (in no particular order) in my moments of self discovery;

- Copido…Somehow I miss you terribly

- Mojisola…Keeping it real

- Tyger…beyond Italy, lies the Alps

- 36inchesofbrownlegs…the good/interesting old days

- Aloted…a woman of purpose

- Writefreak…thanks for sharing

In your more than little ways, you made for a fuller picture of life.

Tagged by Tyger!

The rules are:
1. Link the person who tagged you to this post
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

This me me is about any particular mannerism you have, ok?

Tygernity, you tagged me so here’s my creepy self…

1. I will never tell anyone I’m meeting for the first or second or third or forth time that I know anyone they know. As in NEVER. I just don’t want anyone linking me with anyone. I like to be known and judged for who I am and not who I know or related to. Chances are, we will never be close once you link me with anybody during this incubating period.

2. I have never been stranded. I honestly don’t know what it means. I always seem to have a plan ‘b’ or ‘c’ or‘d’. Maybe it is the independence in me, I don’t know for sure but that is the case. This has cost me a lot and I have learnt to subtly disguise my independence. I hope honestly that I am trying hard enough

3. I smell lies from 500 miles, ok maybe not but I know for sure that people display something on their faces when they lie. I see it, never miss it. A smile, a wrinkle, a stutter, movement in the brows, a look, anything. But I always know when a lie is told. Now it annoys me too, so I hardly ever say anything. As a matter of fact, I manage it by changing the topic of discussion cos I don’t want you telling more lies ;)

4. Help, I just don’t know how to say goodbye without crying!!! Even people I’m not close to o! it is sickening. I just must cry shaa. I’ll tell you how bad this is, the week I joined my current employer, a guy was leaving. Two days later was his send forth. As he was appreciating everyone and cutting his cake, I was crying. I didn’t even know the guy before!!! What the heck is wrong with me?

5. I am the only fat person I know that catches cold with the lightest movement of air. Help me if you are on my side too but it is embarrassing. I am supposed to have extra padding so I shouldn’t be feeling cold right? Wrong. I feel cold more than an average person

6. Aha!! Lastly, I have this strange belief or knowing that things will always work out in my favor. I believe God is the judge of all and He is my father and in the final analysis, He will always favor me first. If it is not working out now, its only a matter of time before it changes to my direction or I get a better deal

There you go, I made it. i now tag – 36, writefreak, unnaked,

Dreams

Ever really thought that dreams come true?

Dreams, not the images that fly in our heads when we sleep – no
But those knowings and desires we had when we were little about the various things we will do
as grown ups. Those ideas that just fly into our minds and either get us so excited and we just
can’t wait for tomorrow to come, yeah, those dreams. Those thoughts the creep in subtly and
just refuse to go.

I have done 31 years of living, and I have seen ideas practically walk out of papers to announce to you “I made it here!!!”, I have seen talks take form and thoughts filling voids. I have seen 5 thousands being fed from 5 loaves and two fishes, skinny long legs walking, graduating into brand new 2008 Toyota Camry. I have seen a ridiculed small boy grow up aspiring to lead a nation and yes I have seen some who have just never thought they could lack anything in life, and guess what, they never did.

I have often heard that life gives to you what you demand from it. In the same vane, I believe life takes from you, only what you let go. Hard talk, but true talk. After all is said and done, it is about what I choose to do, give, take, ask, see, and hear or whatever. It is about what I have allowed myself/ my mind to conceive. So again I ask, ever really thought dreams come true?
…Well, I think they do

I dream tomorrow will be absolutely magnificent, thanks to the great dreamers around me. To the DREAMERS!!!

Past Six Days...

Hi blogville!!!

Ok you know what?

My passionette created this blog for me to empty my thoughts into.
But guess what, I never did. Just did not see the need to.
But now, right now, i.e this very moment,
I want to do it.
I feel the need to, and I’m going to do just that.

So here I go fellas.

I’m going to start from yesterday, no, five days ago and then travel down memory lane. If you care to join me, I’ll be grateful for the company.

Five days ago, I had my evaluation in the office and I was rated poorly by my reviewers…no promotion!!!

In a division of about 70 people, I was the only one not promoted.

Five days ago, division head calls me, with all the people I worked with during the year, to explain to me why I was not promoted. He explained alright. But the explanation made no sense. It sounded like ‘we will make it up to you, just accept this for now’.

Of course I could not accept this. I looked at all the people I worked with and asked them to speak up. They had commended my work during the year. I had actually taught one of them financial modeling and covered up for him when he did not know it. I looked at them like a lost child, saying say something……I heard nothing…… they said nothing…..it had been decided…….and I did not know why.

And to think I almost left this firm six days ago.

Four days ago, I walked into the office and I felt everyone looked at me funny. It was not easy because it was an intellect driven environment. Not to be promoted meant something was lacking up there. I broke down into tears. Some colleagues pretended not to know what was happening and others just did not know what to say to me. Frankly, I pitied them. These people have put us all in an awkward position. But guess what, I decided to take it in my stride. It was a tough call but I made it. (guess my life is not as perfect as I thought).

My hubby held my hands and told me ‘they have no idea what they just lost. Not one of them is fit to evaluate you; their poor opinion really is immaterial. We all know you for who you are and what you are made of’. Nice try I thought. I’ll go about my normal duties as if nothing has happened. I know and they know too that I don’t deserve what I got. Hell there’s more to my life than this work’.

Three days ago, a long lost friend called me and asked me to join their firm. They were offering me two steps ahead of my current position, double my package, a car of my choice (within a limit though) and some other perks to go with it. It was and oil service firm. I was lost. I asked why all these, they claimed they saw something I did for a client in my current firm and concluded they had to have me. Apparently, the same client I was rated poorly on, and for the same job too.

Did I think twice about it…..nooooo!!!

Well yes.

I had a little project I was working on and thought the job will conflict with it, so I actually did think about it.

Then, two days ago, I took the job. As I stepped into my new office, I was glad I took it. I was to come and run my show!!!

And I thought to myself, ‘where did these people put God when they were scheming things about me?’ apparently they thought he did not exist – f***s

Yesterday, my little project, potentially worth some bns sailed through. It is to keep my busy for the next three years. Ask me really, where did they put God in their plans?

So today, I need to decide what next to do with my life…help if you can.

‘Another List’

Was tagged by tygernity, so there you go babes...

Accent: Nigerian

Booze: Water…for three weeks now

Chore I Hate: Come to think of it, I don’t do any…gaaaawd!!!

Dogs/Cats: Neither, hate animals

Essential electronics: CD player… always need to hear something in the background

Favourite Perfume: pour femme by Bulgari

Gold/Silver: Can I have both?

Hometown: Jebz

Insomnia: it’s a disease…

Job title: Senior Associate

Kids: 2 handfuls

Living arrangements: My house na! abi…

Most admired trait: hey! You would think I did a boob job.

Number of sexual partners: all my life or now? Hehehe!!!

Overnight hospital stays: Yes.......child birth alone…ever

Phobia: that I’ll wake up some day and realise its been a dream…no no no o! That’s my husband’s

Quote: ‘it’s not over until I win’

Religion: Christianity

Siblings: 6 (1 brother, 4 sisters, 1 late)

Time I usually awake: About 4.30 a.m

Unusual talent: this strange ability to smell money 10 miles away…strange huh?

Vegetable I refuse to eat: olives

Worst habit: frantic worries about my family,… lost one before, don’t need to loose another.

X-rays: only when entering schools

My Passion...

yeah...
its called random reflections
but not utterly indiscriminate
'cos they are founded of some sort.

its times like this that words fail me
when i'm helpless, no aid can render
all is falling and no sense can muster

what happens from here?
to think of it, i can't dare
one thing i do know for sure
twelve lonely months lay ahead

i can't possibly wish for a change
its all for the best, so I’m told
but I’m here hoping my heart wont age
From aches and pains of days so cold

As you leave remember what we have become,
Think of the plans of five decades yet to be lived
The tales to be told to people we don’t even know

…and yes these tales will be told by us both